In the recent bestseller The Royal Physician’s Visit, by Per Olav Enquist, we read that the mad young King Christian of Denmark was habituated to a secret vice. Testimony taken at the time attributed his melancholy, fits of passion, rages and periods of profound apathy to this vice. It was a very well-known secret. It was stated that this vice was the cause of his dementia, weakened his physical constitution and paralysed his will. The less timorous named this vice: masturbation. Did the fate of a small eighteenth century Nordic country rise and fall on one palm and five fingers?

What is masturbation?

One definition is sexual activity involving only one person; synonymous are self-stimulation, auto-eroticism and self-pleasure. It usually means stimulating one’s own genitals in such a way as to lead to sexual excitement and orgasm. Obviously a little more action is needed than a quick wash is likely to provide. Most commonly, a man will use his hands and fingers, but occasionally he will find pleasure from rubbing his penis with various objects. Shane liked a special piece of silk fabric. The original was from a dress that belonged to a lover and the silk became part of a rich sexual fantasy.

There is much evidence that masturbation is part of almost every man’s sex life. Dr Alfred Kinsey, after interviewing thousands of men, concluded in 1948 that 95 per cent of them masturbated; in 1966, Masters and Johnson put the proportion closer to 99 per cent. An informal online survey, reported on the Jackinworld website, indicates that the greatest frequency of masturbation is among eleven-year-olds, with frequency declining to about five times weekly in men over 35. We don’t know how far over 35 they polled . . .

There is now a fairly wide-reaching consensus among health professionals that masturbation is something that almost everyone practises and that it has a role to play in maintaining the emotional and psychological health of the individual. It is also pointed out that, for adolescents, masturbation is a much safer sexual outlet than unprotected sexual intercourse, with its ramifications of STDs and unwanted pregnancies and the emotional entanglements that a teenager may be too immature to handle in a healthy way. In spite of these views, masturbation can still raise official eyebrows; in 1994 US Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders was asked to resign within hours of publicly stating that ‘perhaps masturbation is something that should be taught’ in reference to public school health education—an example of a policy of prudery, not common sense.

What are the potential benefits of masturbating? First of all, one is able to explore his (or her) own sexuality without the inappropriate involvement of another person (for example, fantasies about a big blonde with enormous you-know-whats, when your main squeeze is a petite redhead). As well, sexual release is a great remedy for generalised anxiety and can help promote relaxation. Many couples enjoy mutual masturbation as part of their sexual relationship: it does not cause pregnancy, nor does it transmit disease.

What are the arguments against masturbation?

In Victorian times, doctors warned darkly that ‘the effects of masturbation were worse than those of most diseases—the frequent masturbator was pale, downcast, couldn’t sleep and had damp, cold hands’. Ye gods! Today there are no medical arguments against this practice, although you will still find religious objections, primarily from conservative religious practitioners. To quote Monty Python: ‘Every sperm is sacred; every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.’ The arguments proffered usually run along the lines that sex is for procreation alone and that therefore masturbation, since it cannot result in pregnancy, is an unnatural act. The only natural act is sexual intercourse which can result in pregnancy; therefore, by this reasoning, practising safe sex is also unnatural. Pope Paul VI in Persona Humana declared that ‘masturbation constitutes a grave moral disorder’ and ‘Even if it cannot be proved that Scripture condemns this sin by name, the tradition of the Church has rightly understood it to be condemned in the New Testament when the latter speaks of “impurity”, “unchasteness”, and other vices contrary to chastity and continence.’

These are matters of faith and conscience; however, the widespread practice of masturbation would indicate that people who adhere to the belief that it is a vice and a sin still do it, but feel guilty about it. Which is a pity.

Max is a big, burly fellow who works a variety of jobs to support his one true love: music. Max shared a deep dark secret with his doctor one day—he ‘jerked off ’ about six times daily and was afraid that that was the true cause of his tummy cramps and constipation. He confessed that he used to do this even more often but was trying to control the urge. Our friend the doc was able to convince Max that his sexual habits had nothing to do with his tummy troubles—he was sensitive to the gluten in wheat products and his love of pasta and bread was the direct cause, not his relationship with his action man.

We are not religious authorities and we make no moral statements about masturbation. However, as doctors, we can say with certainty that you will not go blind, become demented, lose your hair, lose your ability to relate to other human beings, become psychotic or retarded in your physical growth, or lose your ability to be a productive member of society if you masturbate.

Reference:

1. DICK (A Guide to the Penis for Men and Women 2003)