Throughout my sexual maturity, I have always found it to be incredibly difficult to express my attraction to a member of the opposite sex, with the exception of Eireann. I fault this due to my shy persona; an attribute since birth. Rarely able to gather the confidence to foster that expression, I turned to masturbation for my sexual gratification. I gathered from the frequency of how often I masturbated contrasted with the frequency of the common male, that I researched on Internet health sites, that mine was higher. My self-gratification became even more important to me as the years wore on.

My father never included masturbation in his personal teaching to me regarding sex, probably out of respect that it is about the most embarassing thing to talk about to your son. However, I was taught in my tenth grade health class, that masturbation is perfectly normal and a healthy habit. When done next to a partner, it can signal a longing for foreplay and eventually, sex. There wasn’t much more to it than that, or so I thought.

I made an incredible discovery last year that is so significant to my personal growth, that I feel as if I had been enlightened.

Frequent masturbation is actually quite damaging to one’s health!

I had discovered the the web site “Herbal Love” ( www.herballove.com ), that has scientific proof (or so they claimed) on the dangers of masturbating too much. The dangers include:

• Fatigue. Feeling tired all the time
• Lower back pain
• Stress / Anxiety
• Thinning hair / Hair Loss
• Soft / Weak Erection
• Premature Ejaculation
• Eye floaters or fuzzy vision
• Groin / Testicular Pain
• Pain or cramp in the pelvic cavity or/and tail bone

Scientific proof or not, I have experienced five out of nine of the dangers, most recently severe anxiety. I am confident that some of that anxiety comes as a result of my break-up with the Eireann, but I can’t disregard that some of it also comes from masturbating too often.

One of the dangers struck me as particularly important; “Thinning hair / Hair Loss”. I was very surprised to read that! During the whole process of losing my hair and experiencing severe acne, my parents repeatedly told me over and over that my mom’s side of the family has the same issues, and there’s nothing I can do to alter my genetics.

Genetics, huh!? After more research on Herbal Love, I found that, “Over-masturbation or over-ejaculation converts too much testosterone into dihydrotestosterone (DHT). High levels of DHT overload the body causing baldness…”.

It seems that those with the gene for male-pattern hairloss, experience much more heightened sensitivity to DHT, than those without. Excessive DHT is also the cause of acne.

Suffice it to say that after reading this small bit of information, I was completely floored. I am the one causing my acne and hair loss!! After years of quietly telling myself that its simply genetics and not my fault, suddently I discover that it has been the whole time. But with as much hair loss as I already have, my discovery has been made several years too late.

With the guilt that I have been causing my own lack of self-confidence from promoting these cosmetic defeciencies, my severe depression has gotten even more extreme to the point of thinking suicidal at times. If I had only known, damn it!!!

At least on the bright side of things is that I know how to greatly reduce my hair loss and hopefully completely eliminate acne now. I have actually tested myself by lessening the frequency, and discovered less hair building up at the bottom of the shower drain. So, I know at least part of what I read is true. I am still suffering from horrible under-the-skin acne, though. I think I just need to work harder at refraining.

I have likened the act of refrainting from masturbation to quitting smoking. Its harder to refrain from than any drug I have tried, by far.

After researching the web site last year, I fell into denial that my excessive practice was the cause of my severe acne and hair loss all along, and continued to masturbate at the same frequency for some months. But indeed, I have finally cut down that frequency as of December, while tossing-and-turning in bed, fighting that sexual release, for up to two hours almost every night.

There isn’t a doubt in my mind, that I am going to strictly educate any son that I may ever have, on this subject. I don’t want anyone ever going through the horrors of non-existent self-esteem and low confidence that I have experienced during my sexual maturity. It’s the worst kind of torture…the internal kind that the self can all too easily be blind of.